Black Cloud Always Lurking....
Posted by Rebecca Fri, 03 Aug 2007 13:18:00 GMT
I meandered over to a blog today, where I read this post.
I almost cried, right here in my office, because I know exactly how he feels and I am so afraid of this happening to me again.
I lived in the pit of hell for at least four years and when God reached in and pulled me out, miraculous as that was, it still took me four years to recover.
And I’m still working on just being “normal.” The counselors and therapists and shrinks call it “well-adjusted.” Basically, it just means you can deal with life.
I still have really hard days, though. Sometimes, I have really hard weeks and I get really scared and I think nobody knows it but I’m pretty sure that at least some people know it. That’s one of the weird things about depression…you really believe you can hide it, but it affects EVERYONE around you. I admire RLP for recognizing it and doing something about it immediately. He’ll defeat it this round, too, because he is not just thinking of himself.
Depression is a selfish disease. Once you stop dwelling on yourself, you get lots better. Funny how that works.
But I find myself a little discouraged today, because I’ve read so many blog entries by so many different people who have experienced depression in the past and find themselves in it once more.
I don’t ever want to go back there. God, please keep me from ever going back there.
But I’m afraid that, since it has happened to a lot of other people, it will one day happen to me. I mean, I think I know how to stop it. I think I know the triggers. I’ve been in therapy nearly four years now and I’ve learned a ton. But, surely these people have, too. So what does that mean?
