Take My Life - Even the Ugly
Posted by Rebecca Tue, 21 Aug 2007 05:04:00 GMT
You promised me a heart of flesh. I’ve been looking at my heart lately, searching for the tiniest trace of the fleshy, living heart you promised. If it is what you promised, then why is it that wherever I look in my heart, all I find is stone?
Hard. Cold. Stone.
Do I care about my fellow man? Not really. Do I love my enemies? No, not really, no. Do I live like I know I should be living? Somewhat, probably out of habit. I mean, it’s not like I’ve gone off the deep end, but it’s not like I’m doing anything other than treading water.
I sing your praises on my way to and from work, but my heart’s not really in it. It’s pretty much lipservice at this point, and I know it. Do I care right now? Not really.
I’ve tried to try but that isn’t working. And not trying anything isn’t working either. I thought I was up against my will, but I’m not so sure anymore. I think I’m facing something different, and I have NO CLUE what it is and quite frankly, I don’t know that I’m that interested in really finding out, because I’m not really trying. You know that.
What I do know is this. I know you want all of me. The good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. So I’m giving it to you, here and now.
You can have it. You can have all the cynical, the sarcastic, the road-weary, the apathetic, the angry, the frustrated, the bored-out-of-my-mind-with-life-in-general. You can have it all, because I know that eventually, you’ll make sense of it, and you’ll make something beautiful from it.
I can’t do that.
You can.
Do it. It’s all yours.
