Writer's Block?
Posted by Rebecca Thu, 29 May 2008 13:09:00 GMT
When I first began blogging in 2004, I didn’t always know what to write about. After awhile though, it became obvious that my blog was the perfect platform for sharing my faith journey with my community. Several times a week, I would post about the wonderful ways in which G-d had revealed aspects of His character to me, or the new and amazing way He had healed some area of my broken, pathetic little life.
If the server that hosted my blog hadn’t died a year ago, you’d be able to go back and read those posts, but they are gone so I have no proof of it. You just have to trust me.
Anyway, I don’t write like that much anymore, and it bugs me.
I think what bothers me most about this is that I can’t put my finger on the reason. I don’t know why it’s not happening. I can come up with several possibilities, but nothing concrete. As a problem solver, I’m frustrated that I can’t find what needs to be fixed.
One possibility is that my life is pretty simple right now. For several years, it was full of drama - rough relationships with friends and family, a really terrible job, no money, depression, you name it.
That is no longer the case, hallelujah! I have a fantastic living situation, a rewarding relationship with Dominic, boundaries with my family (wow, this is so helpful!), a good job, and I’m bearing a little bit of spiritual fruit.
Is it merely that I am only inspired to write when my heart and soul are lying in blood-drenched shreds all over the floor? Can I only share drama with the tiny percentage of the internet that actually reads me?
What about my life now? Why can I not write about the amazing things that G-d is revealing to me in His word? Why can I not share with you all what it feels like to ACTUALLY be walking with Him daily? (It’s amazing, by the way) Is is because it is too wonderful to describe? Is it because I’m selfish and only want to write about how physically drained I am?
Is it because I’m tired? Distracted? Just plain lazy? Discouraged about my writing? Frustrated because there are a lot of things going on that I’m truly not at liberty to share? Is it because no one comments on my boring posts, so I feel like I’ve lost the audience that I used to have?
What is it?
I used to think that this blog was my ministry - after all, the only real tangible gift G-d has given me is the ability to convey what is in my heart and head in a very descriptive and honest manner to other people through writing. For awhile I did have a “large” following - between thirty and fifty readers daily. That was nice. I felt like I had something to say and the world wanted to hear it. My readers were worldwide and that was cool.
Then the server died and it took forever to get the replacement set up with a new blog so I could continue writing. Things haven’t been the same since.
I’d hate to think that I can’t write because I feel like I have no audience. That never hindered me before.
Anyway, here’s what I want to happen. I want to be compelled to write about my faith journey again. I want to be compelled to express it clearly and honestly to anyone who reads my blog regularly or comes across it somehow randomly. I want to share the miracles that take place in my life daily. I want to magnify G-d and minimize myself.
So.
For you praying people out there - get busy.
