In Between
Posted by Rebecca Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:35:00 GMT
Have you ever been afraid to move but afraid to stand still? Afraid to move because you don’t know what is waiting out there ahead of you, but afraid to stand still because you know the place you’re in is really bad?
I have been there too many times to count, and each time involved different circumstances.
This time I know I am there - I can feel it.
Trouble is, I can’t figure out why I feel this way. There are a lot of circumstances that could be the root of this feeling but I’m not getting any major signals from any of them.
It’s quite frustrating. I want to step forward, But I don’t even know what that step is, so I don’t know how to take it.
Isn’t that weird? I hate that feeling.
How are you feeling these days?
I feel good... mostly. But, at the same time, like I've missed a step. Like I'm supposed to be doing something but don't know what it is. And. I wish I knew.
I don't like that feeling either - it's like cliff jumping. I'm standing on the top of the cliff, knowing there is water down there to catch me, knowing that I will enjoy the experience and the climb back will be fun, but getting to that leaping part takes awhile. What do you do?
I ask for wisdom when I don't know what to do, because He always gives it.
And when I know I need to jump, I stare are the void out there that I feel like I'm jumping into, until the fear becomes so strong that I begin to hate the way I feel, and then I hate the fear for making me feel that way, and in my determination to thwart it, I close my eyes, jump, and say to the fear "bite me."