Building Confidence and Love
Posted by Rebecca Wed, 20 May 2009 15:19:00 GMT
So far, this year has been interesting, difficult, and highly rewarding.
The odd thing is that for all its difficulties, the year has been easy.
I blame G-d.
A year ago, having a hail storm destroy my car would have destroyed me.
A year ago, not knowing where I was going to live or when I’d have a stable home would have knocked me completely off balance.
A year ago, the idea of developing new relationships with people would have scared me half to death.
This year all these things have happened or are happening, and even though I’m tired because yes, some of these things present challenges that are taxing to my body, mind and soul, I’m ok.
I’m actually pretty fine and dandy. I’m settled in my spirit, for the most part. Currently one thing is keeping me on my toes but I won’t go into the details here.
I think it’s an excellent testimony to G-d that I’m able to withstand and move through the circumstances that present themselves in my life. I feel like He has equipped me to make decisions on faith when I’m not getting any strong inclination to go one way or another. I feel like He has given me wisdom, support through the community of which I’m a part, and the guts to jump out there and do something. It’s the next phase of Him growing me up. It’s a scary phase, but it’s a good phase.
The fact that, with a little help from my friends, I got through the car fiasco and am getting through the housing adventure, builds my confidence in the L-rd to provide everything I need when I need it, and it builds my confidence in my own ability to just flat out handle life.
The more confident I become in the L-rd and in who He has created me to be, the more I fall in love with Him.
He is my reward this year, and you just plain can’t top that.