Why Trusting Is Hard For Me
Posted by Rebecca Wed, 16 Sep 2009 03:09:00 GMT
I think I’ve figured out why I’m having such a hard time trusting God these days.
In the past, I’ve had information about my circumstances and I’ve just worried needlessly about them. I’ve also had information about God’s unchanging character that I’ve been able to weigh against the circumstances and that’s helped me get through.
This time around, all I have is information about God’s character. I have no information about my circumstances. I don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes at all. I have put a lot on the line and honestly, I’m scared of losing it all.
So I have to lean on God’s character. God has never failed to come through for me. Not one time. But he’s invisible. He’s intangible. I want information. I want answers. I want to know what the hell is going on.
But I don’t get to. This is what happens when you say “God, I’m a control freak, teach me how to trust you.”
You get nothing. But you’re expected to keep going.
It’s a good lesson. But it’s damn hard.