Posted by Rebecca
Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:59:00 GMT
One of my faculty members came in this morning and needed to show me something on our web site that needs to be updated.
She was eating an “everything” bagel which has poppyseeds, sesame seeds, dried onion and garlic on it, and she was eating it while looking over my shoulder.
I thought I was going to gag from the smell combined with the horrendous smacking that was going on six inches away from my ear.
She left about five minutes ago and I still smell garlic regardless of where I stand in my office.
I hope I don’t barf.
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Posted by Rebecca
Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:12:00 GMT
If I have to hear another person compliment me by telling me I’m so responsible, I think I might scream.
Why?
Because I have very, very little to show for all my being responsible.
Does that mean I’ll quit being responsible?
No, because I happen to value personal responsibility as a character trait and thus will continue to strive to develop it in myself.
But other than a tiny shred of character, I have very little to show for it, and today, that really pisses me off.
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Posted by Rebecca
Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:51:00 GMT
So, G-d’s done amazing things in my life these past 6 years, and I’ve got confidence like I’ve never had before. I’m not worried about anything I’ve done in those past 6 years - I made mistakes, but G-d and I have dealt with them and I’m not ashamed of those mistakes. I like the person I am now, and I like the person I’m becoming even more.
It’s who I used to be, my past actions and the memory of them, that plague me now.
For example, I spoke with an old friend from high school recently. He lives in Texas now and wants to get together so we can catch up. He was one of my best friends and I always loved him like a brother - still do in fact.
But I don’t really want to see him, and it’s because he knew me back then.
I’m not sure if I’m worried about what he’ll think of me now. I’m not sure if I’m worried he’ll bring up the past. Maybe I just don’t want to remember the past. I’m not sure.
It all boils down to me being ashamed of something that is gone and will never return - my youth, my past, and a person I will never be again.
I never in a million years thought something like this would bug me, but it does, intensely. I’m pretty sure I don’t even want to go to my high school reunion next year because of who I might see and incidents I experienced with them when I was a teenager.
Is this stupid? Is this normal? Have you dealt with this at all? If so, how did you process through it?
Posted in Moods | 2 comments
Posted by Rebecca
Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:19:00 GMT
Yesterday it was hot here in the lovely city of Austin, Texas. I checked the weather for today and it was supposed to be hot again. So I wore jeans, a linen tank top, and sandals to work.
It is currently fifty-six degrees.
That is not hot.
Grrrr.
Not only is it not hot, but when you are wearing linen, fifty-six degrees is not even comfortable.
Brrrr.
Welcome to Austin, land of almost-eternal summer and bi-polar spring.
Posted in Moods | Tags weather | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:48:00 GMT
Have you ever had a day when you doubted yourself so much that you felt like your skin was too tight and you needed to molt and then run away somewhere?
Today is one of those days, and I don’t know why.
So I’m going to be needy by asking for encouragement. If you read this today, please encourage me in whatever way you think of.
Thanks!
Posted in Moods | 2 comments
Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 28 Jan 2008 15:52:00 GMT
Wow.
I’m in one helluva bad mood.
As I was waiting in line for coffee this morning (yes, I know coffee nearly made a hole in my intestines last year, but obviously right now that’s not enough to stop me from drinking it), my mind was racing.
I sometimes entertain delicious thoughts of leaving everything. I’d just walk out on my job, sell everything that wasn’t important, like all my furniture and crap, pack up what’s left, and just go someplace new and start all over again.
I have nothing to run from. But sometimes, I’m just bored and tired and sick of the mundane.
Do you ever feel like running?
Posted in Moods | Tags mood | 3 comments
