Posted by Rebecca
Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:52:00 GMT
…and I don’t mean to complain.
I’m very blessed and generally happy.
But right now, man. I’m stressed, and my waistline is showing it.
What’s on my plate, besides ice cream and enchiladas?
1) Full time job. Gearing up for orientation. Busy.
2) Summer school. Sure, it’s only one 3-hour class. But it’s Spanish. 3rd semester Spanish. I had 2nd semester Spanish in 2001. I have 3-4 assignments and/or exams per week, which means all my free time (laugh) is dedicated to studying.
3) I’m co-running a bible study.
4) I have leadership responsibilities for my church Sunday school class.
5) I’m buying a condo. I’m on the phone nearly 30 minutes a day with someone involved in this purchase. And there’s still a lot left to do.
6) I’ve been house sitting, which comes with its own set of responsibilities. The owners are coming back this weekend, which means I have to relocate all the furniture I have stored in their garage. I’m trying to sell a desk. I’ve been flaked on twice regarding that already. Oh, and did I mention that I have a big assignment due Monday, a quiz on Tuesday, bible study on Wednesday, an exam on Thursday, and a presentation on Friday?
Anybody up for a drink this weekend?
Posted in Moods | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Fri, 01 May 2009 15:40:00 GMT
Man oh man do I need some down time.
I’m getting sleep and several stressors have been removed from my life. However, at this point in time, I’m confined to constantly being around people. I have no retreat of my own.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love all the people I’m spending time with - they are awesome and I’m truly thankful that I get to spend time with them in their homes.
I just need a place to go where I can be alone and veg out. A place where there is silence and inactivity. A place where my brain can process everything that has taken place in my life in the last few weeks (and even months).
This is the problem with introversion. To some degree, there is a high level of personal maintenance involved in being introverted. In a busy city with a busy life, sometimes this maintenance is flat out hard to come by.
The result is that I’m constantly tired, I’m a little cranky, and I can’t concentrate very well.
Blah.
At least I know I will have time to myself in about a week and half. I’m really looking forward to it.
Posted in Moods | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:46:00 GMT
Revelation
by Third Day
Verse One:
My life
Has led me down the road that’s so uncertain
And now I am left alone and I am broken,
Trying to find my way,
Trying to find the faith that’s gone
This time
I know that you are holding all the answers
I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances,
On roads that never seem,
To be the ones that bring me home
Chorus:
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You
Bridge:
I don’t know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won’t You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead,
I know that it’s the only way that I can get back
home
Chorus:
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You
Posted in Moods, What's He Doing?, Along the Way | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:07:00 GMT
Today is December 1.
That means the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year will end soon.
I’m over 2008. It can go away.
I’m ready for 2009.
Posted in Moods | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:59:00 GMT
One of my faculty members came in this morning and needed to show me something on our web site that needs to be updated.
She was eating an “everything” bagel which has poppyseeds, sesame seeds, dried onion and garlic on it, and she was eating it while looking over my shoulder.
I thought I was going to gag from the smell combined with the horrendous smacking that was going on six inches away from my ear.
She left about five minutes ago and I still smell garlic regardless of where I stand in my office.
I hope I don’t barf.
Posted in Moods | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Tue, 14 Oct 2008 14:12:00 GMT
If I have to hear another person compliment me by telling me I’m so responsible, I think I might scream.
Why?
Because I have very, very little to show for all my being responsible.
Does that mean I’ll quit being responsible?
No, because I happen to value personal responsibility as a character trait and thus will continue to strive to develop it in myself.
But other than a tiny shred of character, I have very little to show for it, and today, that really pisses me off.
Posted in Moods | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:51:00 GMT
So, G-d’s done amazing things in my life these past 6 years, and I’ve got confidence like I’ve never had before. I’m not worried about anything I’ve done in those past 6 years - I made mistakes, but G-d and I have dealt with them and I’m not ashamed of those mistakes. I like the person I am now, and I like the person I’m becoming even more.
It’s who I used to be, my past actions and the memory of them, that plague me now.
For example, I spoke with an old friend from high school recently. He lives in Texas now and wants to get together so we can catch up. He was one of my best friends and I always loved him like a brother - still do in fact.
But I don’t really want to see him, and it’s because he knew me back then.
I’m not sure if I’m worried about what he’ll think of me now. I’m not sure if I’m worried he’ll bring up the past. Maybe I just don’t want to remember the past. I’m not sure.
It all boils down to me being ashamed of something that is gone and will never return - my youth, my past, and a person I will never be again.
I never in a million years thought something like this would bug me, but it does, intensely. I’m pretty sure I don’t even want to go to my high school reunion next year because of who I might see and incidents I experienced with them when I was a teenager.
Is this stupid? Is this normal? Have you dealt with this at all? If so, how did you process through it?
Posted in Moods | 2 comments
Posted by Rebecca
Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:19:00 GMT
Yesterday it was hot here in the lovely city of Austin, Texas. I checked the weather for today and it was supposed to be hot again. So I wore jeans, a linen tank top, and sandals to work.
It is currently fifty-six degrees.
That is not hot.
Grrrr.
Not only is it not hot, but when you are wearing linen, fifty-six degrees is not even comfortable.
Brrrr.
Welcome to Austin, land of almost-eternal summer and bi-polar spring.
Posted in Moods | Tags weather | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:48:00 GMT
Have you ever had a day when you doubted yourself so much that you felt like your skin was too tight and you needed to molt and then run away somewhere?
Today is one of those days, and I don’t know why.
So I’m going to be needy by asking for encouragement. If you read this today, please encourage me in whatever way you think of.
Thanks!
Posted in Moods | 2 comments
Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 28 Jan 2008 15:52:00 GMT
Wow.
I’m in one helluva bad mood.
As I was waiting in line for coffee this morning (yes, I know coffee nearly made a hole in my intestines last year, but obviously right now that’s not enough to stop me from drinking it), my mind was racing.
I sometimes entertain delicious thoughts of leaving everything. I’d just walk out on my job, sell everything that wasn’t important, like all my furniture and crap, pack up what’s left, and just go someplace new and start all over again.
I have nothing to run from. But sometimes, I’m just bored and tired and sick of the mundane.
Do you ever feel like running?
Posted in Moods | Tags mood | 3 comments
