[ Posted by Rebecca
Wed, 31 Dec 2008 03:44:20 GMT ]
With only about a day left in 2008 (thank the L-rd) I thought it would be good to give a brief overview of the second worst year of my life.
In the Spring I moved in the middle of the semester and was in a wedding. The combination of the two landed me in a little credit card debt which I’ve not yet paid off.
I also started Pre-Engagement Counseling which was exciting.
In July my grandmother died in the middle of the summer semester and I missed several days of school in order to attend her funeral (rightly so).
Shortly after my father was diagnosed as having PTSD from Vietnam. Thanks, Uncle Sam.
My stress level went way up.
School started in August and that was cool because I was taking a really interesting class taught by a really interesting professor.
Then, the Pre-Engagement Counseling ended with a break-up. w00t!
A month later, my other grandmother died and I missed a week of work and class in order to attend her funeral (rightly so). At this point in time I was also having a difficult time with school due to various outside interferences.
Thanksgiving came and went and just before the semester ended I learned that my brother was diagnosed with Barrett’s esophagus and possibly had cancer. So I got to be a little scared and worried for about a week.
Then I found out my brother didn’t have cancer. That was fantastic.
Gas prices also went down which made me happy.
Debt, death, dissolution, diagnosis, decline.
It’s been a hell of a year and I’m glad it’s over. I’m sure I’ll look back on it and see a great lesson, but since I’m in the middle of said lesson, I’m blind to it at present.
2009 has got to be better, but I can tell that it is already going to be a year of questions.
Here’s one I’ve already got: Should I stay (in Texas) or should I go (back to Arkansas)?
As the answer unfolds, life will be exciting.
2009 will be a good year.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Sat, 27 Dec 2008 22:48:45 GMT ]
Tornado weather, when the wind isn’t blowing and there are not actual tornadoes, is really beautiful.
The light is always strange.
Today I am watching a buttercream sky melt into raindrops.
It is beautiful. I wish you could see it.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:03:28 GMT ]
I’ve heard a few people talking about spiritual maturity lately and I kinda find it funny that we often think other people are not spiritually mature or maturing because they are not or have not grown in areas we have.
I have thought this myself in the past.
But I think it’s not necessarily true.
I don’t think the journey G-d leads us on is linear. Maybe that’s one of the reasons we Greek-minded westerners have such a hard time with the Christian walk. We want it to be a nice linear function that would look pretty plotted on Cartesian coordinates.
But I don’t think it’s like that. I think it’s all over the place, and I think it’s different for each one of us. Sure, G-d gets us all to the same destination, but our mountains and valleys are in different places, and our spiritual lessons are likely to be learned at different paces based on our unique skills and gifts and personalities and all those other wonderful things G-d put in us when He designed us.
For example, I do really well connecting with G-d emotionally. I know He is always there and I can see Him in everything. His presence is always known to me at every moment. I’ve matured a great deal in that area (although probably not even close to completely). However, I have a hard time giving grace to other people and forgiving them.
I have a friend who is exactly the opposite. He has a difficult time connecting emotionally to G-d, but he is very gracious and forgiving of others. He has matured more in an area that I haven’t and vice versa.
So does that mean one of us is mature and one isn’t? Nope. Does it mean we are never going to achieve maturity in the areas where we are weak? Nope. It means that we can help each other get there because we know what works in the area where the other is weaker. That’s community. That’s one of the purposes of the body of Christ. It’s genius, really - we all need each other.
So now when I am tempted to think that someone else is less spiritually mature than me, I try to stop myself and think of two things: Where am I not mature, and where are they mature?
It helps me balance my thinking about people and helps me realize that we are all in this together, heading to the same place.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Tue, 16 Dec 2008 13:52:52 GMT ]
So I used to never open my mouth and say anything because I was afraid I’d say something stupid or incorrect. You know: “Better to let someone think you are a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
That was way back when I was depressed and was a different person than who G-d has made me to be today.
I can honestly say I’ve come a long way. Now I open my mouth whenever I want to say something, and often times I don’t even think about what I’m saying.
I guess I should explain. It’s not that I don’t think at all about what I’m saying. I just don’t follow my thoughts through to completion.
Like the other day I was talking to someone about raising kids and I was saying how in an ideal world you’d create an environment in which you could surround your children with truth and teach them to be strong in their faith.
He countered with the idea that in reality, the best you can do is instill in your children the value of making wise decisions so that when they grow up they will want to make them.
Of course I knew that somewhere deep down inside, but honestly I hadn’t consciously thought about it that way.
Did I feel stupid? Not really. I was glad I opened my mouth and said my incomplete thought, because a brother helped me complete that thought and I learned something.
So don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. You might learn something from someone else, or perhaps they will learn something from you.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Thu, 11 Dec 2008 15:12:52 GMT ]
People notice when your stress level decreases. Several of my faculty have commented on how I look happier than I have recently.
My response to them has been that this was the semester from hell. I was in a senior thesis class and a lot of difficult things arose in my personal life as well.
I think having finality to several of these things has helped. I told one professor that everyone was dead or diagnosed and receiving treatment, so it made things a lot easier to handle.
Dead or diagnosed. It sounds incredibly grim but really, it’s true. I’ve had several chances at emotional catharsis and I think they have helped. I hate to say this, but it’s more relieving to cry after someone has died than to sit around and worry about when they might die. You get closure, and closure is good.
There are only a couple of things left right now that I need closure on, but I can handle a couple. I just can’t handle a million.
So I have a couple of things to handle. Life is doable again.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:04:54 GMT ]
So, I went camping this weekend with Marci. Yes, I had a paper to finish. Yes, it was gonna be cold. Yes, I am that crazy.
We went to Lost Maples State Natural Area, and despite the fact that a lot of trees had already dropped their leaves, it was beautiful. Many tress still had color ranging from yellow to deep red.
The sky Friday night was incredible. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve seen a sky that dark and clear. It was cold and dry so the atmosphere was still, allowing the stars and planets to shine with perfect clarity. It was heaven on earth for us astronomers. It would have been the same Saturday night if Marci and I could have stayed awake long enough for the moon to set, but by 9:30, we were ready to crash.
It was really cold though. And somehow neither of us managed to get Marci’s sleeping bag into the car, so she braved the 25 degree weather with a couple of blankets and every article of clothing she owned.
The first night was rough for both of us, but Marci had it worse for sure. Somehow, I started out warm, then my butt got cold and it just spread from there. I have no clue how in the world that happened. It was really odd.
The second night, however, I think we were exhausted enough that it didn’t matter. Marci spent the first half of the night sleeping by the fire, then came into the tent and slept some more.
We had a lot of yummy food in the course of the weekend - fajitas, s’mores, hotdogs, migas, oooey gooey banana-chocolatey-marshmallowy goodness, fried potatoes and onions, and a random assortment of snack food. Oh yeah, and Marci taught me how to make monkey bread which we cooked in my cast-iron dutch oven. Oh my goodness. It was incredible.
On Saturday Marci went for a hike while I worked on my paper. I was the only moron out there with a laptop. I sat by the fire and typed away. It was great. I focused really well and plowed through the rest of my paper, finishing it up in about three hours. I was done by about 2:30 and had the rest of the weekend to enjoy the outdoors.
Yesterday morning we packed up after breakfast and went for a 5 mile hike on the western trail. It was perfect hiking weather - about 60 degrees with full sun, so you never really got sweaty, but you also weren’t cold. The landscape was gorgeous. Near the bottom of the hill we scaled, I could have sworn I was in the eastern united states somewhere. Then we got up the hill, and the top looked like regular Texas scrubby landscape - and you could see all the surrounding hills and valleys which were rich(for Texas) with fall color. It was really lovely.
While I mostly went to keep Marci company, this trip was exactly what I didn’t realize I needed so badly. The outdoors always recharge me. Somehow nature washes my stress, worries, and fears away. I can tell that I’m doing better today, and I slept like a rock last night for the first time since I can remember. It was great.
My paper is turned in and the semester is over. I’m looking forward to six weeks of freedom and this trip was an excellent beginning to that.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:15:10 GMT ]
Interesting article linking religious practice with prolonged life.
Interesting article on gratitude and health.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:46:58 GMT ]
For my whole adolescent and adult life I’ve had fairly clear skin, up until last August.
I switched from my regular Proactiv regimen (which I was on to control menstrual-related break-outs) to something cheaper, thinking that since my skin had never had any real severe problems, I could go off Proactiv, save a little money, and have no troubles.
I was wrong. Within a few days my face broke out all over. I was encouraged to stick with my new face wash because when you switch products, it generally takes time for your face to adjust. Mine never did, so I switched back to Proactiv.
It was too late, the damage was done.
I hit a particularly stressful period in my life and started having break-outs regularly. And I wasn’t breaking out with little tiny bumps, I was getting huge blisters all over my face, in places where I had never broken out before, like my cheeks and nose.
I was afraid to switch products again because that was what had initially started the problems, so I stuck it out with Proactiv, waiting for the day when it would kick in and work. That day never came.
A good friend then directed me to this site.
I read through everything, but was still afraid to try something new, so I sat on the info. for two months.
Finally, frustrated and tired of not getting anywhere with the expensive Proactiv I was using, I went back and looked over the site some more. This time I read the founder’s story and decided to take the plunge. I ordered a three-step kit and started on it as soon as it came in the mail.
Within two weeks of use, my face was clear. That was three months ago. I haven’t had a break-out since, even during those difficult weeks of the female cycle. I still have some red spots from old blisters, but they are flat and will fade with time. My skin, however, is completely smooth and beautiful again.
A few good things about the site I mentioned above:
1) You can order your products on the site and get them delivered quickly to your home, and even with the shipping charges it costs a lot less than Proactiv.
2) There are forums on the site where you can talk to other people about their experiences with the product, with other products, and about practices that have worked for them and things that haven’t. This played a critical role in my decision to use the product.
If you’ve been banging your head against the wall because you have this problem and can’t get rid of it, or if you know someone in that situation, then you should direct them to the site. It’s the best product I’ve come across. It is gentle, affordable and doesn’t stink.
It has worked wonders for me.
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[ Posted by Rebecca
Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:52:14 GMT ]
I turned my final paper in for my summer class this morning.
Four classes to go.
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