This is who I am

An honor student at an Arizona high school wrote his biography for the year book and in it he mentioned his faith in God. The school apparently omitted the religious information from his biography, claiming separation of church and state.

I find it incredibly ironic that educators would do something of this sort. Obviously, the people who are teaching the children in the Arizona school system don’t have the first clue where the phrase “separation of church and state” came from, nor do they have a clue what it means.

They are also apparently unaware that in this country, there exists such a thing as freedom of speech.

The student handled the situation gracefully, and the school realized their mistake and issued an official apology.

You can read the story here.

If our educators cannot correctly educate the upcoming generations, what hope have we of having well-educated people running our country in two to three generations? I think it’s highly pathetic, and I think that “separation of church and state” is abused in some cases and overused in general, especially when Christianity is concerned. A lot of people applaud when Buddha or Ganesh are lauded, and they cheer when any mention of anything remotely related to Christianity is suppressed.

While I understand the general populace’s unpleasant attitudes towards Christians, (because of the crusades and the bombed abortion clinics and the sidewalk preachers and the bible beaters), a look at history will reveal that people of other religions have committed terrible crimes in the past and present, and often live in such a way that visually invalidates their faith to the rest of the world. The problem is not necessarily the religion, the problem is the people. I say this because I believe that people can very easily succumb to evil.

I am, to some degree, an idealist. I have to admit disappointment in the way some members of my society choose to handle religious conflict. A great majority of evangelical Christians misrepresent the matters of the Christian faith and as a result they reap hate from people outside the faith. A side affect of this is that all members of the faith receive that same label - unintelligent, uneducated radical fundamentalists who don’t understand the Big Bang theory or Evolution. The secular people who have been hurt by these Christians or have only had the opportunity to see a poor representation of a great faith tend to have knee-jerk reactions to ANYTHING Christian. This is in sharp contrast to those people who are truly tolerant of all religions and have enough presence of mind to not stereotype every single person on earth.

But I have problems with all these people. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and it’s usually the intolerant who are the loud ones. The quiet Christians who have a better grip on Christian principles, and the secular folks who are tolerant should speak up, but they rarely do.

I’m sure we can all theorize solutions to this problem, but I seriously doubt the issue will ever be resolved. In fact, I think it’s more likely that all religious freedoms will depart from this country before religions receive equal treatment by the law and by society.

Yesterday morning, as I was coming up the stairs from the parking lock and rounding the corner of CPE, I noticed a squirrel sitting atop a low wall, and he had a muffin cup in his paws.  He was nibbling all over the paper, consuming every last tiny crumb that was stuck to it.  I’m pretty sure he enjoyed his breakfast.

This morning, as I was rounding the same corner, I noticed a squirrel up on top of one the garbage cans, peeping in it to see what he could find.  I’m pretty sure it was the same squirrel that I saw yesterday.  Poor guy probably doesn’t understand why the trash cans are virtually empty; apparently the university doesn’t notify the squirrels that the end of the Spring semester has come and all the garbage-generating students are gone.

Anyway, after seeing these two episodes, I was reminded of a time when I saw another squirrel taking advantage of someone’s leftovers.  It was late one afternoon and the pizza stand on Speedway and 24th had just closed.  The stand was operated by a local pizza chain, and throughout the day the stand received pizzas delivered in boxes.  At the end of the day, they stacked all the empty boxes up next to a nearby garbage can.  Well, on this particular afternoon, one box had fallen open on the ground, and there was one slice of pizza still in the box.  I saw a squirrel slowly approach the pizza slice.  After sniffing it a bit, the squirrel grabbed the corner of the crust in his mouth and proceeded to drag the slice of pizza down the sidewalk. I was mesmerized. I had never seen anything like this before.

The squirrels at UT are used to people, and they have come to expect handouts.  I knew a guy who was sitting on a park bench near an academic building, and while reading a book, he felt something patting his thigh. He looked down, only to see a squirrel patting his leg.  The squirrel persisted until the guy pulled a granola bar out of his backpack and began feeding it to the squirrel.  Within a few minutes, he had several squirrels and birds hanging around him, demanding their supper.  Crazy.

While I think it’s pretty awesome that the squirrels on campus are so forward, I am also concerned about the long-term affects this type of behavior will have on their health. If they keep eating processed foods, foods that are high in fat, and foods that are loaded with sugar, they may develop some serious health issues.  Before you know it, aging squirrels will be sitting around talking about how Lipitor is the greatest thing on earth.  Heart disease will be the number one UT squirrel-killer, and cases of squirrel diabetes and squirrel thyroid problems will shoot through the roof.  Eighty-percent of the UT squirrel population will be on some kind of anti-depressant, and all the squirrel health journals, squirrel newspapers, and squirrel news shows will be talking about how adolescent squirrel obesity is running rampant and no one knows what to do about it.  The squirrel pharmaceutical industry will boom, and squirrel marketing firms will jump all over it.  Soon, squirrels will come to expect a pill for everything and will deny the fact that their health problems are diet-related.  They’ll be addicted to fast food and sugar, and will have to turn to liposuction for weight reduction because they refuse to change their eating habits.

I could go on, but I think I’ve said enough that you all can understand how deep my concern is for these UT squirrels.  Education is the only way to prevent this impending disaster.  And what better place for a squirrel to receive an education than right here at UT? They have practically no commute and no housing costs.  I’m pretty sure they could get a break on tuition too, since they are a very small minority. I bet there would be scholarships galore for them.  I really think that UT should start a squirrel health education program. It’s a great way to reach out to the local squirrel community, and what University doesn’t want to have a strong community presence?

I’m telling you, we need to rally for the squirrels.  Who’s with me?

Finally, my head is clearing. The mind-fog is lifting, and I am beginning to see again.

I am not there yet, but I am getting there.

Spring has been rather rough for me. There was a car accident and the stressful process of purchasing a new-to-me vehicle. School and work burdens were heavier than they have been in the past. Then I got sick, and more sick, and more sick. Then, while I was down, I got sucker-punched in the gut and kicked several times.
I have spent the past two weeks putting a priority on time alone. I’ve needed it. I still need more of it, and I’ve confirmed that I need it regularly. My head is always so full of thoughts, dreams, reasonings and creations that I need time to sort it out and file it away or I become overloaded. This is part of what happened this spring.

Now that I’ve given my soul time to regenerate, I feel as though life is once again springing forth out of the ashes. Numerous prayers, a ton of tears, and several prescriptions have aided this process.

I am not there yet. I can still feel the stress in my body and my soul still feels cramped. I hope to relieve some of this over the weekend. I’m going camping with some friends, which should prove to be relaxing, since I’ve warned them ahead of time that I will spend large amounts of time wandering alone in the woods or with my head buried in a book. I know they will respect that, because I know they know I need it. I need to get away from the fast pace of city life. I’ve never been much of a city girl in the first place, and I find rejuvenation in the bare beauty of nature. I am looking forward to it, and if nature cooperates, I should be able to give my friends a nice surprise. That remains to be seen, though I’m praying it will happen.

I foresee a tough 2007 ahead of me. I think I will rejuvenate in time for summer school, and then I will face five hard weeks of working, reading and writing, and thinking, thinking, thinking. I have been given permission to do some coursework during the day while on the job, because everyone knows how slow it gets here in the summer. That should help some. I am going to have to do some shuffling and simplify some areas of my life, because otherwise, I can’t even stay afloat. But I will deal with those things as they come. Right now, I am focusing on me-maintenance, and as I said before, I’m beginning to feel better, even though I’m not completely re-established at the time.

What excites me the most though, is that now my mind is beginning to turn once more to the things of God, we are talking more, and my time with him is like a healing balm to my soul. The quiet waters by which he leads me bring rest to my weary spirit. It is like Spring has come again and everything is beginning new. When the blossoms come, I’ll be ready for the heat of summer.

I’ve been thinking about love lately.  Not romantic love or the love  between friends or the love you have for your family.

I’ve been thinking about God’s love and how I know he loves me and how he reveals his love to me in a personal way that makes sense to my heart.

Some people equate love with the blessings they have in their life.  They are born in middle class America and all their needs are met, so they are loved.  Their biggest conflict might be what to wear to that lunch meeting, or a fight they had with a friend, or how much they can spend on a glorious new house.  Those people sometimes look at the situation in Darfur, and compare it with their own situation and decide they are loved.

Some people see a sunset that is beautiful and feel loved.  Some people are emotionally moved by art or music and they feel loved.  Some people feel love because God has placed certain relationships in their lives.  Others read that God loves them and that’s enough.

I personally do not look at the  blessings in my life and equate them with love.  This is because I know that God loves every last person on this earth, whether they were born into wealth, slavery, war, poverty, success, or paradise. It is not enough for me to see that I have a roof over my head.  If that roof were removed, I would not equate that with God’s love being taken away.

While I can see God in a sunset, hear him in music, or gloat over him in writing, these things do not confirm his love to me.  Reading about his love in scripture doesn’t confirm his love to me either, even though you could argue that it should.  My history with relationships has certainly not convinced me of God’s love for me.

None of these things really do it for me.

I know God loves me because he is constantly testing me. He is constantly teaching me. He is constantly proving his character to me when I am confused, lonely, angry,  exhausted or overjoyed.  He never leaves me, and he never stops disciplining me. Sometimes he teaches me through blessings.  Sometimes he teaches me through the beauty of his creation. Sometimes he teaches me through people, and sometimes he teaches me through his wonderful words.

There is a scripture somewhere in that great book of his that says something like “God disciplines the one he loves.”

I can see this reflected in every step of my life.  He was there all the way, guiding me, patiently dealing with me when I made bad choices, and listening to every word I had to say.  He was there celebrating every smile and every laugh, and he held every single tear I shed in the palm of his hand and wept over each one of them.  Because he goes with me, because he endures everything with me, because he never leaves my side even when I willfully choose to say or do the wrong thing, I know he loves me.  We are bound to one another and I flake on him all the time but he always keeps his word.

In and of myself I am not deserving of any of this and I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it sometimes, but there it is.  I cannot deny the truth.  I know God loves me, and I know that nothing can EVER separate me from that love.

I get on Burnet road heading south this morning, and I end up behind a green Ford Taurus.  The dood driving the Taurus must have his seat laid all the way back, because his head is barely visible and I swear it looks like it is in the back seat.

I notice also that when he stops at a light, he is AT LEAST two car lengths behind the car in front of him.  I ascertain that this has to be due to the fact that he can barely see over the dash board since he is, in fact, laying down in a sleeping position while driving. This is what I call smart - SMRT smart!

I am thinking about how dreadfully uncomfortable such a position must be for long periods of time, and my thoughts and the driver’s thoughts must coincide. I say this because at one light, I see him lean forward and stretch, and then he stays leaned forward and continues driving that way until I see him turn off the road. Unfortunately, while leaning forward, his driving does not at all improve.

The entire thing strikes me as being very funny because, being the pragmatic person that I am, I see a very simple solution to his discomfort.

Lean the seat forward man, that’s all it takes.  I promise, it makes a big difference!

Last week, a bunch of us went to see the Round Rock Express play the Tacoma Rainiers in honor of Caroline’s birthday.  I heard it was a good game, but I wouldn’t know, since I didn’t watch a single play.  I was too busy laughing my head off at all the funny comments that were flying around.  Here are a few of them:

Jack: I went with Marci to watch Kat Osterman throw her 5, 287 strike out, which in baseball means that nothing happens, and nothing happens a lot. Yay! Nothing happened! Clap clap clap! Go Kat!”

Me: In the game “Pirates,” you get to woo a wife, but what’s cool is that once you are married, you can still woo women in other ports.  This is to your advantage, because they give you useful gifts and information when you charm them.  Why, I have a fantastically beautiful wife, and I’m cheating on her in like five ports.”

Marci: What I don’t get it why a Canadian Team is using a U.S. Mountain as their mascot.  Why would a team call themselves the Toronto Rainiers?

Me: Um, we are playing the Tacoma Rainers. Tacoma is in fact located near Seattle in Washington State, the same state where Mount Rainier is located.

The Jumbo Tron, which we renamed the mini-tron, had its own funnies.

One was called a “cather” instead of a catcher.  They caught that mistake and fixed it.

Another guy whose name was supposedly Vladimir, had his name misspelled on the mini-tron.  For some reason they had Wladimir up there, and man, every time someone pronounced it like it was spelled, we all cracked up laughing.

Then there were the endless physics debates about why some flags were hanging dead and others were flapping in the wind.  There was also a pretty bad physics joke about a hamburger having less energy than a steak because it’s in the ground state. Wakka wakka wakka.

So you see, there was really no need for me to watch the game…there were plenty of other entertaining things going on which demanded my attention.

Did you know that clenching your teeth together too much can cause migraine-type pain?  It’s true.

I went to the dentist today to get a check up because I had some crazy severe pain last week and over the weekend, and the dentist feared it was an abscess.

This concerned me, because I have great hygiene.  I don’t floss every day, but I floss probably three times a week, which isn’t terrible.  Every other aspect of my dental hygiene, however, is fantastic.   So I was trying to figure out how my teeth were in such bad shape that I could have gotten an infection in the root of one of them.

Well, I didn’t.  Apparently I’ve been over-clenching my teeth lately, which landed me in bed for two and half days last week and weekend.

When the dentist asked me if I had a lot of stress in my life, I had to stifle a loud laugh.  Lately my life has been nothing BUT stress.  There was the paper, the illnesses, the relationship stress, the Church under the Bridge drive, and various forms of spiritual attack, to name a few.

He told me to take ibuprofen for the pain, remove the stress, and do something fun and relaxing to help release the stress from my body.  Now I just need to figure out what that is, but I think part of it is that I need to spend a lot more time alone.

Unfortunately, that means a lot less time with you wonderful people.  It’s not that I don’t love you all dearly, it’s just that I need to maintain my own sanity, and reading for homework doesn’t count as “alone-time.”

I also need to find a hobby that I really love to do…something besides rock-climbing or geocaching…those are too competitive.  I need something that I won’t turn into a competition…something that makes my soul sing…something other than writing, because I put a lot of pressure on myself to make that perfect.

What do you do to de-stress? Who knows, maybe you’ll inspire me!

Bible Fight

Thanks for sending me this, Casey.

“The woods on either side became denser; the trees were now younger and thicker; and as the lane went lower, running down into a fold of the hills, there were many deep brakes of hazel on the rising slopes at either hand.”

The above sentence comes from page 80 of the Houghton Mifflin one-volume paperback edition of The Lord of the Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien.

I have included it here because it is a beautifully crafted sentence, an ideal example of the art that can be created via writing.

First, I must point out the exquisite use Tolkien makes of the semi-colon. The average American doesn’t even know how to use them, but here are two of them used correctly in one sentence. Brilliant.

Second, we have alliteration. I will bold the words that start with the same letters, thus the same sounds.

“The woods on either side became denser; the trees were now younger and thicker; and as the lane went lower, running down into a fold of the hills, there were many deep brakes of hazel on the rising slopes at either hand.”

Third, there is his beautiful use of assonance. I will bold the words that use similar vowel sounds.

“The woods on *either side became denser; the trees were now younger and thicker; and as the lane went lower, running down into a fold of the hills, there were many deep brakes of hazel on the rising slopes at *either hand.”

(*Here the word ‘either’ is pronounced with ‘ei’ sounding like the word ‘eye.’ I’m pretty sure this is the way the British say it.)

What really gets to me, gives me chills, and brings the tiniest bit of salt water to my eyes, is the use of meter in this sentence. It’s insane. I have done a rudimentary metric/poetic foot analysis on the sentence, which I will attempt to somehow show on this blog. It may not work too well, but anyway, here we go. The bold-italic letters indicate a stressed syllable, while regular type indicates an unstressed syllable. The vertical lines “|” show where the feet are located. A horizontal slash in a syllable indicates a filler syllable that has been inserted to create a meaningful sentence, but is otherwise not associated with the meter. I have broken the sentence down into poetic lines based on natural pauses observed in reading the sentence aloud.

“The woods | on ei | ther side | became dens | er; (3 feet: tetrameter, plus one syllable filler)

the trees | were now young | er and thick | er; (3 feet: trimeter, plus one syllable filler)

and as | the lane | went low| er, (3 feet: trimeter, plus one syllable filler)

running | down in | to a fold | of the hills |, (3 feet: trimeter)

there were man | y | deep brakes | of haz | el | (3 feet: trimeter, plus one syllable filler)

on the ris | ing slopes | at ei | ther hand.|” (4 feet: tetrameter)

The meter is mirrored.

Here are the foot patterns:

da da = iambic

da da da = anapestic

da da = spondaic

da da = trochaic

Line 1: 3 iamb, 1 anapest

Line 2: 1 iamb, 2 anapest

Line 3: 2 iamb, 1 spondee

Line 4: 2 trochee, 2 anapest

Line 5: 1 anapest, 1 spondee, 1 iamb

Line 6: 1 anapest, 3 iamb

with lines 1 and 6 mirroring each other.

This may not be a completely correct analysis of the meter. People speak and read things differently from one another, so the metric analysis depends on the reader. I do not know exactly how Tolkien meant for the meter to read, but I do know that a meter of some sort is present.

Seeing so many layers to one seemingly unimportant sentence in a 1,000-page book full of sentences is what amazes me about Tolkien’s writing, aside from all the other genius things he built into his great work (the plot, the character development, the languages, the glossary, etc.). I aspire to write sentences that are as intrinsically beautiful, and at the same time as easy to read, as the sentence Tolkien wrote.