Posted by rebecca
Thu, 05 Apr 2007 21:16:45 GMT
Today, instead of working I stayed home, writhing in pain.
Ok, so it wasn’t so much writhing as much as it was attempting to sleep off the major fatigue that has plagued me of late. That fatigue, dear friends, has been caused by nothing other than a stomach ulcer.
Yay!
I get to go get an upper GI on Wednesday to confirm what my doctor is sure is an ulcer. Meanwhile, I’m on a proton pump inhibitor for the next two weeks and I can’t take any pain killers. My next menstrual cycle will kill me. And that nasty headache that I have right now, well, I may as well get to know it because I’m not going to be able to send it packing anytime soon.
The good thing is that I don’t have to modify my diet. I can still eat chips and salsa, in other words. This is good, because chips and salsa are my ultimate comfort food.
At some point, I’m supposed to get a blood test to check for the presence of a specific bacteria, but since my doctor nor his nurse mentioned nothing about how to set up such a test, I have to call them and find out what I’m supposed to do. You’d think they’d have handled this at the office. Oh well.
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Posted by rebecca
Mon, 02 Apr 2007 20:32:46 GMT
I am conservative and I certainly cling strongly to my faith, but I like to think that I am an accepting person. I try very hard to accept all people, no matter what they believe. I may not agree or accept their opinions, but they are people with souls that are valuable and worthy of love.
Sometimes though, I do come across beliefs so vastly different than mine that are SO WRONG that I just can’t let myself accept them. This has happened to me today. My hands are shaking and I feel my blood boiling because of this post.
I can’t believe that after all we’ve been through together, Caroline would choose the color blue over the color green. This is a decision that is fundamentally wrong on ALL LEVELS. I could strangle her for being so blind, so base, so…so…immoral!
Can you believe that we live in a society that tolerates such blatant indifference of all that is good and true?
Caroline, I know you are reading this. I have to tell you that I can’t be your friend anymore. When you get your head on straight and you can truthfully tell me that green is the only color worthy of being anyone’s favorite, then we can talk. Until then, you are dead to me. DEAD!
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Posted by rebecca
Fri, 30 Mar 2007 14:52:27 GMT
I got this from Yellow Turtle, a.k.a http://iheattheastros.wordpress.com a.k.a. Caroline the Lovely.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2007/3/22garduno.html
It’s just too funny.
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Posted by rebecca
Fri, 30 Mar 2007 14:42:16 GMT
Dominic informed me that my files *should* be safe, but the database on his server which manages the files and blog is pretty much toast. He is now shopping for a new server and may be purchasing one soon through a friend who has connections with a certain very large PC company. The nice thing is that all my treasured musings are probably not lost and will be up on the www in the reasonably near future, I hope.
In other news, yesterday was a load of fun, and just what I needed. I left work at about 3 in order to do some much needed shopping for the office. I had no luck finding what I was looking for, so will be out in the rain again this weekend hunting for frames and an area rug.
Dominic called me when he got off work and asked where I was. I was at the new Home Depot on Mopac and Braker and I actually saw him drive past it on Mopac while I was sitting in my truck. Yes. It’s a truck. Dominic calls it a truck and I like the sound of that so even though it is a car-based SUV and not a truck-based SUV, I’m calling it a truck anyway. Deal with it.
We ended up meeting at Fry’s because did I mention? Dom’s hard drive on his superfly Powerbook croaked this week too. Apparently, on the model he has, the hard drives die after two years. He learned this after much internet research. Anyway, he needed to pick up an external hard drive and a connector so that he could attempt to retrieve the data off the dead drive, and we had plans for later in the evening, so it made sense for us to meet up and hang out.
As usual when I’m at Fry’s, I made an impulse purchase. I picked up the DVD edition of Jim Henson’s “The Dark Crystal,” a childhood favorite of mine. So I was glad that I was there. I love that movie.
After making our purchases, Dom and I headed to dinner at It’s Italian where we filled our bellies with delicious food and gossiped with the wait staff, whom we’ve now known for several years.
We were in separate vehicles so we both drove to our respective casas and I changed and then went to get Dom. He wanted to drive my truck downtown because it’s smaller than his Dodge, thus easier to park. I let him drive though. I hate driving downtown, and I was pretty tired by this time.
We went to see Elizabeth’s play (http://ohiotrip.eventbrite.com/), WHICH YOU SHOULD ALL GO SEE, and it was, of course, brilliant and beautiful and wonderful, which is why YOU SHOULD ALL GO SEE IT. There are more shows in April, so don’t vex yourself over having missed most of the shows.
(sorry I haven’t figured out how to link in Wordpress yet.)
Another neat side effect of her play was that it was in an art gallery and we got see crocheted garments on stuffed (as in, by a taxidermist) animals. It was a glorious end to a glorious day. We went back to Dom’s and then I went home. I was going to go to bed, but alas, “The Dark Crystal” was calling my name, so I hunkered down in bed with my laptop and my headphones and watched the entire 93-minute long movie.
It was a great day.
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Posted by rebecca
Thu, 29 Mar 2007 15:33:57 GMT
The not-so-great part of keeping an online journal is the possibility of the server, which contains your files, dying. This may have happened to me, the jury is still out. If all goes well, my files are not lost forever and can be transferred to a new server, once it is purchased and installed. Until then, I’ll be here, at wordpress. w00t!
I’ll be writing, instead of working.
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Posted by Rebecca
Wed, 28 Mar 2007 15:28:00 GMT
Last night, after cooking one of his gourmet dinners, Dominic took me roller skating. I was excited. He messaged me yesterday at about 3 PM asking if I knew where my roller blades were. I knew exactly where they were, so when I got home I pulled them out and realized that I had yet to wear them.
They were a gift from Dominic two years ago for my 24th birthday and around that time he started having really bad problems in his hands and arms, and stopped roller blading because if he fell and jarred his wrists or hands, it would just make things worse for him. He stopped, so I stopped.
Anyway, the skates still had the tag on them. So last night was their inaugural run. We had a great time, and by the end of the night, Dominic had some of his balance issues sorted out and my heart rate was up and I even broke a sweat. It was excellent exercise. We are planning to go again next week, and I bet he’ll leave me behind in the dust.
Today, I’m sore. I’d forgotten what it is like to roller skate when you haven’t done it in awhile. In junior high, I skated every weekend, was in great shape, and could skate for hours without feeling anything.
This is not the case now, because I’m out of shape, and I’m not used to skating anymore. So when I move, I hurt. Actually, I’m really only stiff in my legs. I guess I kinda feel like C3PO must’ve felt after wandering around in the Dune Sea on Tatooine. My joints need oiling or something.
My legs felt like strawberry jam last night. Dominic helped me remedy this by suggesting that we walk to Jamba Juice. We did so, except Jamba Juice was closed due to a staff meeting so we had to go to HEB and get fruit juice, which ended up being a good idea. Then we walked back, and by the time we got back to his place, I was totally spent so he took me home. I slept better last night than I have in awhile. Of course, I’m still tired.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to skating again. And I’m looking forward to making real strawberry jam this weekend. Dom took me to get jars last night, so now I have everything I need, well, except for the strawberries.
Posted in Various and Sundry | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:28:00 GMT
My inconstant and fickle heart never ceases to amaze me. I never can go five days in one humor and most of the time I can’t go five minutes in one. Today I deal with this reality once more as doubts and fears creep into my mind and heart.
These are the very doubts and fears that God himself calmed within me, and I can’t help but wonder what it was that enabled me to let my guard down.
I often struggle with getting things right, and when I say struggle I mean my mind is dominated with the fear of failure. Sure, I am confident in my personality and confident that God loves me and that there is a grace which covers me every time I slip and fall. This, however, does not mean that I’m one hundred percent content with falling. I’m terrified of falling because falling hurts and I’m a person who is very familiar with pain. Pain is not pleasant, and I’d rather avoid it if possible.
The confidence of which I earlier spoke is new found. I was not always comfortable in my skin. There were times when it wasn’t warm enough, or when it was too hot, or it was too tight, too loose, or too itchy. I felt I didn’t fit in it. Then God came along and tailored me to fit my garment. I’m still settling in to the realization that it fits well and is exactly what I was meant to have on. For those of you who are lost in my metaphor, ask me later and I’ll explain in plain, boring, non-metaphorical English.
What I’m getting to is that though I am confident, sometimes I forget that I am. I stress and worry that I’m making a big mistake. The more people I talk to, the worse this gets. The more I research something, the more confused I become. This is partly because there is a tiny portion of me that still wants people to be pleased with my decisions. I can’t bear the thought of someone sitting in their living room, judging me for a personal life decision that I made. It sounds ridiculous, but those of you who know me well know that there is a part of me that is just that – ridiculous. I’m ok with being ridiculous. It makes me real.
Another aspect of this difficulty is that I am a forward-thinker. I have suffered the consequences of poor decisions made by ancestors, who have long since passed from this world, and I know of their decisions, and I see the cascading effect of those decisions down through the generations to me. I shudder at the thought of making a decision that will affect my children and grandchildren and others on down the line. I can do something with my life that can have a huge positive or negative impact on their lives, and I’d much rather pass on the positive.
When sticky situation arise, I tend to look within myself to see where I need to grow. I tend to be of the general opinion that if a circumstance in my life is painful, then there is something in me that needs to change so that I can rise above the circumstance. Did I mention before that I’m idealistic? Maybe I didn’t.
This week, I’ve been dealing with the concept of envy. My pastor spoke on it this past Sunday and I think my humor changed at least 7 times during the service as I took in the truth which he spoke. I had been praying for God to give me wisdom regarding spiritual growth, because I hadn’t confronted anything in myself for awhile and I knew that there was more in me that needed to change. Then I heard the sermon on Sunday and was shocked to the core when I realized that I am a deeply envious person, and that I had rebelled against seeing that in myself for a very long time.
As a result of this, I have been launched into a complete re-examination of my motives for, oh, just about everything in my life. I have learned that making decisions out of fear is really insane, but I never thought about envy. Now I am filled with the fear that it has been a motivating factor in my plans and decisions for life, and I am second-guessing everything. I thank God that humility comes with the wisdom he gives. I believe this is true because when I receive wisdom from God, it throws into sharp relief my own blind stupidity. I’m so glad he loves me in spite of myself. I am also glad that in the grand scheme of things, I really know nothing, because if I knew it all, I’d have no need for God and I am falling more in love with him each day.
I’m not sure this post has any conclusion, but that’s ok. Sometimes, there can be joy in finding no conclusion, because after all, the journey is the exciting part of life. But for those of you who are always moved to pray for me and would like to know specifically what I prefer prayer over, you can pray for this: that through this God would reveal himself to me and myself to me and empower me to change the direction of my life in any area requiring that change, and that my heart would take hold of this and not let go of it.
Posted in Along the Way | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Fri, 23 Mar 2007 21:24:00 GMT
I received an email message from my secret prayer team today asking if I had made any progress on this.
I had fully intended to provide a timely update on this situation but time got away from me, so I’m doing this now. The query from the secret prayer team was a good reminder to not leave everyone hanging.
God heard my prayers and the prayers of my community, and I have seen his hand working in the situation in very real and observable ways. Instead of throwing in the towel and giving up on the situation, I’ve decided to stay the course a little longer.
God provided just enough shade to give me rest so I can continue through the desert, just as he promised.
For those of you who have been praying for me or will be praying for me, thank you so much. It is a great encouragement to me to know that I am not standing alone.
Grace and peace be with you all!
Posted in Along the Way | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Fri, 23 Mar 2007 15:24:00 GMT
At work, I have a mouse with a scroll wheel. I love the scroll wheel. I use it often, usually to scroll up and down a web page or in my email inbox.
It’s been a very busy week, and I noticed just now that I have to scroll six times to get from the top of my email inbox to the bottom of my email inbox.
This is six times too many.
I am a firm believer in not scrolling in the email inbox. What I mean by this is that in a single glance I should be able to see all my current email messages. I’ve enlarged the window and I still can’t do it.
Most of the messages have been handled in some way, they just haven’t been filed. I personally don’t like this because if an unanswered email message is buried in a pile of messages that have been dealt with, I don’t always notice it, even if I flag it.
So, this afternoon, I’m hoping to clean out my email inbox and get it back to where it should be…scroll-less.
Posted in Various and Sundry | no comments
Posted by Rebecca
Tue, 20 Mar 2007 17:41:00 GMT
Lately I’ve experienced some weird little things that are kinda funny.
Saturday morning, early, at about 3 am or so, I woke up to something stabbing me in the side. Turns out it was a roller-ballpoint pen. Which I then hurled across the room because how dare it wake me up in the middle of the night?
The next morning, I of course discovered the ink stains that were all over my sheets, my pajamas, and my skin. I also discovered the cap to the pen.
The Moral of the Story: Watch out for renegade ink pens. They’ll get you EVERYTIME.
This morning, by some miracle, I had time to dry my hair. I parted my hair and combed it and began drying it. I always dry the left side first and then the right side. Don’t ask me why, it’s just the way I always do it.
Well, this morning, I somehow managed to trip the internal breaker in the dryer. I say this because I’d much rather believe that I tripped an internal breaker (because there HAS to be one in there somewhere) because I refuse to accept the fact that after a mere year of irregular use, my dryer went out. I checked the plug. I unplugged it. I plugged it back in. I hit the test and reset buttons. The dryer would not come on, no matter what I did.
So I got to come to work with the left side of my hair dry and the right side very wet.
The Moral of the Story: Hair dryers. They don’t make em’ like they used to.
Posted in Various and Sundry | no comments
