Posted by Rebecca Tue, 20 Feb 2007 22:56:00 GMT
“You know those boogers that you find that are really squishy, and you can only get at half of one, and it stretches out and yanks the other half out?”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“I got one of those after lunch today. It felt soooooo good once it was out.”
“Yeah, it’s really satisfying, like sneezing. It’s such a relief.”
“It was awesome.”
“I believe it.”
Posted by Rebecca Fri, 16 Feb 2007 22:55:00 GMT
“If it’s too good to be true, then it’s not true.”
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that phrase, and being the realist that I am, I always abided by it and ignored anything that looked too tempting.
Until now.
Don’t worry. I didn’t get scammed. I won’t get scammed. I’m way too skeptical and smart to get scammed.
But I figured out that my delicious dream car is a scam car.
Tear.
The beautiful thing is that God answered my prayers. He showed me it was snake instead of a fish, and I’m so grateful that he’s looking out for me. Because I was inches away from totally falling for it. Like an idiot.
But now, I have to start over with the car search. Sort of. I’m really tired of having no vehicle. Really.
Tired.
So, I’m back to the same place I was before. Do I spend the limit or do I spend below the limit? Do I get what I want, or do I get what I’m ok with?
Decisions. I hate them. Really, I do. But, there’s no time for me to sit here and kick myself mentally and while about how painful of a process this is.
Back to square one. Let’s go.
Vroom vroom!
Posted by Rebecca Thu, 15 Feb 2007 18:13:00 GMT
The other evening I was talking to a friend about my car situation, and he kindly reminded me about the concept of permissible will.
He reminded me that God permits us to do anything within the bounds of His will as long as it jives with His commands. Basically, as long as I’m not comitting a sin in order to obtain a vehicle, I can purchase any car I want.
While it was a good reminder, I think my sentiments here were miscommunicated.
It’s not really that I am worried about buying a car that God doesn’t want me to have. It’s more that I want to involve him in the decision making process, because I bet you anything He really likes it when we do that. It’s not so much that I’m asking His permission as much as it is that I’m asking His opinion. After all, He knows a whole lot more about cars than I do, and He knows the entire history of every vehicle that has ever existed or will exist on earth. Plus, He knows the desires of my heart.
So it seems like a good idea to consult Him. It also seems like a good idea to willfully involve Him. I’m not saying He is not already involved, because duh, I know He is.
What I mean is that it’s a heart issue. I want my heart to please Him. Buying a car is a big deal in the sense that there’s a risk involved and money and I want to be a better steward of the money God has entrusted to me.
I think it pleases Him when I actively seek His involvement in these decision making processes. I think it’s better than doing it without even thinking of Him.
Now, if I can just remember to ask His opinion about jelly when I’m standing in the grocery store, perplexed at all the options.
If Dom were with me, I’d ask him which one I should get. I want to acknowedge that God is that involved in my life. I want to get to the point where I ask His opinion on the mundane, daily, forgettable decisions I have to make.
After all, He made me. He knows what I’ll love and what I’ll hate. It only seems logical to ask His opinion.
Posted by Rebecca Wed, 14 Feb 2007 15:11:00 GMT
White-Orange
Orange
White-Green
Blue
White-Blue
Green
White-Brown
Brown
Last night I learned how to crimp heads on cat5 cable. I also learned how to punch down cat5, which was only a little more fun than crimping the heads.
The amazing thing is that, in the absence of caffeine, my foggy brain is still able to remember the color order of the wires. That is nothing short of a miracle.
Posted by Rebecca Sat, 10 Feb 2007 21:06:00 GMT
The internet is weird.
Last year I managed to get in contact with an old friend from high school who I always thought was troubled.
I found him via an online community, and judging by his photos, he is still troubled.
We exchanged a few email messages, and just now, when I logged into that community, I noticed that he had removed me from his friend list.
I also noticed that he no longer shows up on my instant messenger friend list, which means he must’ve removed me from that as well.
I must’ve really affronted him somehow, but then, that’s not difficult to do.
In other news, on the same community, I noticed that one of my friends became friends with my old high school boyfriend/best friend who is now himself in search of a boyfriend.
What’s really weird, is that he’s in Austin, and he’s been in Austin since 2004, and I just now found out. Well, I found out about five minutes ago.
Lucky for me, this person is not so easily affronted, at least, he never seemed to be that way. I always remembered him being sensationally funny and very sweet and sensitive. Go figure.
For my 18th birthday he gave me a sterling silver piano shaped music box that played “Music of the Night” when you open it, which at the time was my favorite song. Yeah, he was that kind of sensitive, and very thoughtful.
So I sent him a friend request in hopes that we will be able to catch up. After all, he has known me longer than most people who read this blog. He was there in person when I had bad hair, and there’s something to be said for that. And he took me to prom. So there you go.
Posted by Rebecca Sat, 10 Feb 2007 00:03:00 GMT
Pretty much the title says everything.
Yesterday I test drove 8 cars. When I was finished I knew what I wanted, and I was ready to do anything I could do to get what I wanted from somewhere, anywhere.
I looked all over AutoTrader, Craigslist, eBay and the classifieds. When I say I looked all over, I meant that I looked in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, College Station, Corpus Christi and Abilene.
Nothing.
Except one. That looked sketchy (exactly what I wanted at the exact price…yeah, sketchy.) I emailed that person a few questions about the vehicle and then promptly forgot about it.
This morning, I was praying on my way to work. I wanted peace in my heart over the situation, and I straight up did not have it.
Then I remembered that most of all, I want to learn to be a better steward of my time, talent, and money this year.
A better steward of money. I want to honor God with my money, which is a skill that I was not born with nor one that I saw demonstrated in my home growing up.
So it is hard. It is hard to honor God with my money. Even though I have an incredible credit score, I still feel like I am standing on the edge of a terrible precipice and if I make one wrong move, I’m dead. Period, end of story.
This morning as these thoughts were rolling through my head, I pretty much up my mind to get either a Civic or a Corolla, because they are very affordable and get good gas mileage etc.etc.etc.
As I decided to choose honoring God over pleasing myself, I felt more settled and peaceful about the decision. After all, a more affordable car meant more money each month to put into savings, or towards school debt or whatever. Good idea.
When I got to work this morning, I very quickly searched AutoTrader for the two cars that I was thinking of getting.
Then I checked my email. The woman I had contacted yesterday wrote back with information that was very pleasing. I had completely forgotten that I had been in touch with her. She has exactly what I want (CR-V) at exactly the price I want (less than what they usually go for).
She’s in Houston.
So now I have to decide what to do. I’m still going to the dealership tomorrow to try out the Corolla, and even the RAV-4, because it’s the smart thing to do and I try really hard to always do the smart thing.
I’m a little scared to drive all the way to Houston and see that the car is dirty or doesn’t drive like I want it to. At the same time, I’ve prayed and prayed that God would show me what I really wanted, because he knows better than me what I want, and that he would bring it into my path.
This Houston car could be it. It could also just be temptation. A test.
So I’m standing here, looking out over the financial Grand Canyon, and I can feel the lose sand under my feet. I’m not sliding yet, but I feel that if I move an inch in the wrong direction, I’m going to fall.
The problem lies in my heart. I have a parachute, a perfect one that works without fail. This parachute is God. But I don’t trust it. I don’t trust it because it would be just like me to roman candle on this jump.
I’ll jump tomorrow, I hope.
Posted by Rebecca Thu, 08 Feb 2007 16:23:00 GMT
Last night, my friend Heather was telling me about this crazy dream she had. So I asked her to email it to me and I said I’d post it on my blog, as a piece from a guest writer. So I did. Enjoy!
“A dream is a wish your heart makes!” Yeah…. right! I sincerely hope that’s not the case here.
Don’t know what I ate. Don’t know what I drank. But something was DEFINITELY off in my head last night.
Dream was as follows: (deal with me, because I’m no writer!) There I was in a tiny room, roughly about the size of an average living room. There were three rows of pews set up, some random wooden chairs with white cushions. And lace, I remember, was hanging off the ceiling and walls. I think I also remember seeing white flowers. Anyway, there were only a few people around & they were talking to each other. However, I couldn’t hear a word they were saying. I was standing in the back corner of the room by the double doors and as I looked around I noticed Rebecca sitting at a table only a few feet away. She looked up at me, smiled, and then went back to what she was doing. As I watched, I realized she was sitting behind a rather large soundboard. So I asked, “What are you doing?” And she replied, “I’m in charge of the music!” “Huh!” I thought… wondering what she was talking about. Just then a moment of clarity hit. I was at a wedding!! And I was the one in charge of shooting the video. However, I then realized it was no ordinary wedding. We were actually attending the wedding of Saddam Hussein’s eldest son. (yeah… don’t ask!) 10 minutes to go before Saddam would be walking through those doors to make sure the wedding got off to a great start. Needing to get my things in order, I looked around to get my camcorder ready. There on the table in front of me was my camcorder… consisting of three parts: A plastic cup, ice, and a coffee stirrer. Yes… this was my “camcorder”. (take a minute to let that sink in) In order to get it to work, the stirrer had to be balanced on the ice and set at an exact angle towards the front of the room. However, since the ice was slowly melting in the cup, this made things rather difficult. I kept having to try & look through the stirrer(much like a viewfinder) and keep it lined up. Of course, it’s hard to look through the stirrer when one end is actually sitting inside the glass. After a few minutes of frustration a tiny roll of 16mm film appeared in my hand. I looked at it… then looked at my “camcorder” and suddenly realized… “Oh my goodness! That’s not a camcorder at all!! That’s a plastic cup filled with ice & a stirrer!!” I was now in a bit of a panic with only 5 minutes to go before Saddam walked in for the start of the wedding. So I turned again to my friend and the conversation went as follows:
H: Hey Rebecca?
R: Yeah?
H: Umm… I don’t know how to make this work. That’s a cup. How do I get the film to record with it?
R: Uhh… I don’t know. I don’t think you can.
H: Huh. Well… that’s what he’s paying me to do, right? But I can’t. Do you think he’ll be mad?
R: Yeah.
H: Ok. Well… How do I tell him that this isn’t going to work? That he’s not going to have video of the wedding? What do you think he’ll say?
R: He’s going to kill you!
(and for some reason we’re all pretty calm about this fact)
H: Huh. So… Should I wait for him to get here and then tell him that it won’t work?
R: No! Because he’ll kill you! He’s not going to wait. You should probably leave now.
H: Ok… Are you sure?
R: YES!
H: Do you think he has time to get a replacement? I feel bad leaving now without saying anything. Are you sure?
R: LEAVE!!!
So… I left at that point… just as he walked through another door in the room. (Details are getting fuzzy on the rest) And then I recall being taken throughout this large house, trying to get away from Saddam(since he was nowe after me) and these people kapt delaying my escape. One woman had me going into a room that looked much like what you’d think if you were in a 5 yr old little girl’s room and I had to fold laundry. Another time I was filling a pool with water by using a bucket. And these people were saying all the while,”This is the way out. Don’t worry, almost there.” But I knew they were really keeping me there on purpose…..
And that’s the dream. Bunch of weirdness and randomness that I can’t explain. Let’s blame the stress of my daily life… because that dream is certainly not a wish my heart makes…
Disney was so wrong!!!
Posted by Rebecca Tue, 06 Feb 2007 22:04:00 GMT
I work a full-time 40/hr. per week job.
I maintain a serious courtship, which requires a lot of energy, and fills my Tuesday evening and sometimes other evenings.
I am actively involved in my church, which usually is a commitment of almost my entire Sunday each week, my Wednesday evening each week, and sometimes a Friday or Saturday evening or afternoon.
I am working on a degree and am in a class right now. I have between 9-12 hours of work outside of class per week. And, I’m trying to read my bible and pray every day.
I have counseling sessions every Monday evening.
I have a lot of very good friends, many who support me in my various endeavors. I try very hard to maintain these relationships, because I love and value these people greatly.
And this week, I’m in the process of buying a new car.
Before you decide that I’m ignoring you and avoiding you on purpose, please consider the fact that I love you.
Then consider the fact that because of all the above, I rarely get enough sleep and thus I don’t think clearly and I don’t remember things well.
Then consider the fact that I’m extremely stressed and much to my chagrin, I can’t be at your beck and call when you’re bored.
Then consider that you are not the only friend I have, and I’m already feeling guilty about not spending time with people because I’m stretched thin.
I’d appreciate it. Because I’m doing the best I can.
I’m just Really. Stressed. Out.
Posted by Rebecca Tue, 06 Feb 2007 19:04:00 GMT
My car is totaled.
There wasn’t anything wrong with it, other than body damage, but it’s totaled, and now, it’s not my car anymore.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye. I left work early, went to the lot, and cleaned out my car. I have to admit, I cried a little bit, because that car was a miracle car.
It was a miracle that I got it and a miracle that it help together for the time that it did. It almost gave out on me so many times.
So I cleaned it out and said goodbye, and signed my name on the dotted line.
I then took the title to the insurance company’s local office and picked up my check. Now, my car is most likely on it’s way to a salvage yard. Which is funny, because there is at least one part in the car that I got from a salvage yard. It’s gonna be passed on down the line now.
The great thing that happened yesterday is that I found out that I actually do know how to manage money considerably well, as evidenced by my ridiculously high credit score that I didn’t know I had. So, that was a confidence booster.
The other great thing was that I got approved for the loan amount that I asked for, and the loan rep. that I spoke with educated me on buying cars and gave me a lot of resources so that I wouldn’t step on to a lot and get the wind knocked out of me.
Now, I just have to wait until I can car shop and see what God has waiting for me. I know it will be good, and I know it will last as long as I need it to.
I just have to find it.
That’s the news.
Posted by Rebecca Thu, 01 Feb 2007 22:43:00 GMT
Here’s something that bugs me that I think about every month.
I think about it every month because my preferred brand of feminine hygiene product has flowers or butterflies or something cheesy on the wrapper and a message that says “Have a happy period!”
Yeah. Because feeling like the old dirty chewing gum that some fat guy just scraped off the bottom of his shoe really makes me think of flowers. And butterflies.
Have a happy period! Are you kidding me?
I have cramps. I’m constantly nauseous. My head is pounding. I’m sleepy and I can’t concentrate. All of the things that I am normally not insecure about are suddenly a BFD, and oh my gosh is that ANOTHER zit?
Worst of all, none of my pants fit. NONE!
Happy? I’ll give you happy. Jerk.
I think that the wrappers on tampons and maxi pads should be more like the messages in fortune cookies. There’s a tiny bit of excitement when you bust open a fortune cookie, because this time, you might get a message that is actually relevant. Or it may be so poorly translated that it’s funny. Who doesn’t need a laugh from time to time?
I think it should be the same with feminine plumbing products. They should say something encouraging like “It will be over soon,” or “You can handle this, you’ve dealt with it before.”
Or how about, “I know you feel fat, but you’re still beautiful.”
“You can’t even tell that’s a zit.”
“It’s ok. Your body needed that snickers bar.”
“It’s not as bad as giving birth.”
“You aren’t bloated. Your pants just shrank in the dryer.”
“You’re not high-maintenance. He’s just an idiot.”
If we have to deal with these annoying pieces of cotton or these slabs of dri-weave that don’t breathe, the wrapper should AT THE VERY LEAST understand what we are going through and present a useful thought.